The Bus Goodbye - Sarfaraz's POV

AN: Happy six months to MAYA'S LAWS OF LOVE! As a treat, please accept this scene written from Sarfaraz's POV. This is the scene at the bus station in Karachi, where Maya and Sarfaraz part ways.

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​Sarfaraz is no stranger to goodbyes. His mother's sporadic visits in his life caused him mentally say goodbye to her in order to protect his own heart growing up. And then there was the goodbye from his wife, who preferred the company of her coworker to him. And finally, the blowout between him and his father forced a goodbye not just to his dad, but to the rest of his family. After his maternal abandonment, the dissolution of his marriage, and his estrangement from the people who were supposed to love him the moment he entered the world, Sarfaraz knew it was better to be by himself. The ache of loneliness that marinates deep in his bones is worth missing out on the even deeper pain that goodbyes bring. He's happy alone.
 
Then he meets a woman on a plane, and everything changes. Suddenly, she's someone who he doesn't want to become a ghost. Someone who he doesn't want to become a stranger whose molten brown eyes are imprinted under his lids. Someone he doesn't want to say goodbye to.
 
But that's exactly what's happening as they stand across from each other. This woman whose hair falls to her waist and whose laughter is like a love song. Blistering heat permeates the bus station, and sweat dampens his skin, and he knows that when he gets to his family house, a whole new slew of problems will drop to his feet. But it doesn't matter. What matters is Maya, whose hesitant gaze meets his. Her lips are as plump and lovely as they had been when she kissed him this morning, and it takes everything in him not to tangle his fingers in her hair and pull him back to her and never let her go. Never mind that she's not his. Never mind his high suspicions of who she really is. For once in his life, Sarfaraz wishes to silence the second guesses in his mind and do what his heart desires.
 
One of them has to speak first, and while he expects it to be Maya, she continues to just stare at him. He clears his throat and hopes that she'll believe that the redness in his skin is a result of the heat. "Well, I guess this really is goodbye this time," he says, though each word is like a slice to the gut.
 
Disappointment drags down her usual pretty smile. "Yeah, I guess so."
 
He forces his lips to form a grin, but even he can tell that it droops at the edges. He sticks his hand out. "Good luck on your wedding," he tells her. "I hope you manage to find happiness with that guy."
 
He knows it's probably a hundred flavors of wrong to refer to her fiancé as "that guy" when he's 95% sure it's his little brother, and it's doubly as wrong to act like he's never going to see her again if the first thing turns out to be true, but he needs this. He needs these last few moments of normalcy between him and this woman who he never expected to sit next to, get to know, or develop feelings for. None of it's logical. None of it makes sense. It's what he thrives on as a lawyer, after all. But it's what he needs. And selfishly, maybe it's just what he wants.
 
Maya slowly raises her hand and places it in his. She shakes it only once before she releases it, and instantly he misses her warmth. "I hope you have fun with your relatives here."
 
"Ooh, that may be hard," he teases, and a bit of relief touches his chest at the fact that he's able to joke.
 
Despite their handshake, they both still linger. All of a sudden, Sarfaraz's chest caves in. He doesn't want to say goodbye to her. Oh, he's said it to her many times before on their journey, and it won't be a permanent one, but this one carries a heavy note of finality. It'll mark the end of their little travel bubble, where they were untouchable and it was just the two of them against whatever came at them. If he truly does see her again, she'll be someone else completely, and so will he.
 
Sarfaraz draws a deep breath, then starts moving backward. "Alright. Khuda hafiz, then."
 
Maya blinks a couple of times, and he swears her eyes shine. "Khuda hafiz."
 
He turns around at the same time she does, but he barely makes it a few steps before he pivots back around. Sarfaraz watches as she drags her suitcase behind her, her footsteps light and somewhat staggering.
 
In one of his favourite old Bollywood movies, the lead character also watched as his love interest walked away from him to board a train. He said to himself that if she turned around to look at him, she loved him. And so he said turn aloud as she walked on the platform. And he said it one more time as she grabbed the railing and lifted herself onto the train. And then she looked over her shoulder at him, and as she offered him a shy smile, a grin of his own overtook his face, because he knew he was right.
 
Sarfaraz stares at Maya's back as she continues toward the exit. His chest aches, his breathing is too tight. His heart whispers the word that his lips are too afraid to form.
 
Turn.
 
Maya places one foot in front of the other...
 
Suddenly, he thinks of Orpheus. Of the joyous notes that played from his lyre while he watched the love of his life dance in the meadow, surrounded by greenery and goodness. Of the grief that drowned his lungs when his wife died. Of the mournful melodies that burst from his throat at her loss. Of the hope that sparks his will to live when he's offered the chance to save her.
 
Turn.
 
His body tenses as he stares at her back, at her legs moving forward, at her head held high.
 
He thinks of Eurydice. Of her dainty steps on the woodland floor, of two fangs sinking into her delicate skin, of poison searing through her veins and stealing the colour from her cheeks. Of the hope that bloomed in her chest as she and Orpheus inch closer and closer to the portal between Hades and the daylight.
 
Turn.
 
...and she turns her body completely toward the exit, disappearing in the throngs of travelers.
 
A sharp stab slips underneath his ribs. The pain moves from his torso to the rest of his body, burning his veins.
 
Well. That was that.
 
Sarfaraz readjusts his bag strap on his shoulder. Grabs the handle of his suitcase. Turns back around. Starts walking.
 
With each step, his heart squeezes more and more. His eyes burn. Tears prickle at the corner of his eyes, and his throat thickens like it's swelling up. It's the most emotion he's felt in a long time. And he pushes it all away. He takes deep, steadying breathes. He swipes at his eyes. He swallows roughly, soothing the ache. The walls come back up, and this time, he's going to make sure they stay there. No matter what happens from this moment onward, he's going to remain detached.
 
But even as he steps through another exit, into the scorching heat of the day, his gaze searching for his uncle's car, a stray thought lingers in his mind.
 
If she was truly Orpheus, and if he was truly Eurydice, then Sarfaraz would have joined her. He would have held her hand, she would have smiled at him, and they would have left the Underworld together. Maya passed the test, and she should have been rewarded. They both should have.
 
Instead, their hopes vanish into thin air, and they're doomed to exist without each other on opposite planes.
 
Is a tragic love story better than no love story at all?
 
He doesn't know, because he turned back around, and she didn't.